Yeah, I said it, man. Teddy Hart, son of the sister of Bret and Owen Hart totally rules, man. He is a fellow country-man of mine, hailing from the Canadian mainland. I know a lot of dudes out there don’t like him, but the same could be said of the Moose. The thing that separates the Moose and Teddy Hart apart from the rest of the turds out there is that we both have huge nards… but different kinds of nards completely. Check out this video of Teddy being ultramega…

And this one of Teddy punking out dudes…

That shit is really real, man. I can tell you from experience, having wrestled and won championship titles in all the major feds overseas, that Teddy is an A+ superboner, man. I can guarantee that this dude gets tons of chicks… Not as many as me, obviously, but still tons. I’ve never had the pleasure of facing Mr. Hart in the squared circle, but I can tell you one thing… It might actually be a close match, probably with me edging him out for the win by using the camel clutch or some other submission, tap out move. Speaking of camel clutch, check out this sweet shoot video of my hero, the ultimate badass, the Iron Sheik…

Also, it should be noted that the Iron Sheik actually trained me to wrestle back in his hometown of Tehran, Iran in 1974. This is where I mastered the camel clutch and how to swing hammers in order to properly intimidate my competition. Check out this video of the Sheik punking out the superpussy Ultimate Warrior at a comic book and autograph convention. Way to go Sheik.

L8r -Ken