Sup Yetiturd Efficianados?

Well, the reports are in and apparently bigfoot a’la yeti has been captured with video proof man. I will respond with a “who gives a flying crap, dude?” I’ve had photo and video evidence of his existance for fuckin decades bro! Yeah, I’ve actually got a couple housebroken and they make me breakfast every morning. These turds who claim to be fuckin yeti investigators broke into my freezer and took pictures next to a bunch of yeti steaks and then call the fuckin USA news teams to come and make them famous. All I can say is you’re lucky I was in Czechoslovakia winning a Wizards of Sega championship and wasn’t at home so I could make you famous in the Canadian missing persons report, man. I want my yeti steaks back dude. Either come clean and let the media know that I debunked the myth eons ago, or forever be a super returd… and know it forever. I’m going to be clear with my demands. If persons want to see my yeti evidence, then I want to do it the right way. I want an interview with Matt Lauer. I also want Vladimir Putin and Prince Harry to thumbwrestle in the background while I do a tae kwan do, cobra-style demonstration pre-game show. I also want a fuckin rematch with Norris man. NORRIS - I’ve beat your dumb ass many times overseas, but this time I want to do it live on North American primetime. Not even pay per view. I want primetime, and I want Matt Lauer to be the announcer and guest referee in the deathmatch-style bout. I also want Heather Locklear to be the babe who holds up the round cards… Even though she’ll only have to hold up a card for the first round. She’ll at least have plenty of energy to go all night if you know what I mean bro. I want the fight to be on every Canadian channel, causing everyone to miss the season finale of Degrassi.

Those yeti guys are liars.

L8r -ken