Sat 5 Dec 2009
Survived a Coyote Attack
Posted by Ken the Moose Wilkinson under Declassified, Internet, Studly, fighting
Sup losers?
Well, it looks like I have enough ammo to start writin a book man. As you noticed I haven’t been ah writin a lotta internet posts lately. That’s an ass ton of reason why, not excluding crashin the net in Lithuania due to my extensive porno and casino browser add ons hackin the mainframe. I wasn’t able to send in my net bill man, so they cut me off man. There was a huge snailmail problem in western siberia in October and November, so I sent about $400 cash to the internet and tried dialin in tons ah times. I’m pretty sure the cash got picked up in a sting operation and I got cut off. Anyway, it don’t fuckin matter man. I’m in a livin in the ah now and not in history bro. That’s why the babe on my donkey is on my mind and I’m not ah dreamin about when Locklear used to do that dude.
When I was hiding in a bunker in Yeniseysk, Siberia on a business trip, I was sleepin and didn’t put my dinner away. Coyotes could smell nothin but cheetos and fish sticks for kilometers aways. Shit wasn’t pretty man. The coyotes took a nice chunk out of my thigh, probably cuz it still had wing sauce on my pant leg from the week before. Luckily I sleep with one eye open and was able to grab my huntin knife and decapitate the four legged assassins before they ate my whole leg. I ended up skinnin them both and using the hide to make a pretty fuckin sweet bandana man and also cover up my wound til I got back to Yukon to see Dr. Janikowski.
I’m gettin a new dirtbike with all the cash I made on my trip man. So yeah, fuck off and tell yer girlfriend I’ll be right over to finish the slop job of dissatisfaction you started turd…. right after I’m done with my current clientele. The chicks are all ah happy I’m back man. Come on over babes, Pleasure Ken is back dude.
l8r
- Pleasure Ken








































