Sup losers?

Well, it looks like I have enough ammo to start writin a book man. As you noticed I haven’t been ah writin a lotta internet posts lately. That’s an ass ton of reason why, not excluding crashin the net in Lithuania due to my extensive porno and casino browser add ons hackin the mainframe. I wasn’t able to send in my net bill man, so they cut me off man. There was a huge snailmail problem in western siberia in October and November, so I sent about $400 cash to the internet and tried dialin in tons ah times. I’m pretty sure the cash got picked up in a sting operation and I got cut off. Anyway, it don’t fuckin matter man. I’m in a livin in the ah now and not in history bro. That’s why the babe on my donkey is on my mind and I’m not ah dreamin about when Locklear used to do that dude.

When I was hiding in a bunker in Yeniseysk, Siberia on a business trip, I was sleepin and didn’t put my dinner away. Coyotes could smell nothin but cheetos and fish sticks for kilometers aways. Shit wasn’t pretty man. The coyotes took a nice chunk out of my thigh, probably cuz it still had wing sauce on my pant leg from the week before. Luckily I sleep with one eye open and was able to grab my huntin knife and decapitate the four legged assassins before they ate my whole leg. I ended up skinnin them both and using the hide to make a pretty fuckin sweet bandana man and also cover up my wound til I got back to Yukon to see Dr. Janikowski.

I’m gettin a new dirtbike with all the cash I made on my trip man. So yeah, fuck off and tell yer girlfriend I’ll be right over to finish the slop job of dissatisfaction you started turd…. right after I’m done with my current clientele. The chicks are all ah happy I’m back man. Come on over babes, Pleasure Ken is back dude.

l8r

- Pleasure Ken

Sup turds?

Apparently a lot for me man. It looks like the TV show on the ‘net called FlushTV - http://www.flushtv.com is airing exclusive footage as per our contract allows. They came up here to my house in Yukon and shot some footage of me talking for their “Poop Special.” We ended up doing some scenes in Siberia too, but right now the Russian government is holding those tapes hostage until I give back my Siberian lottery earnings. Not gonna happen man. My deal with Flush ain’t exclusive man. I’m not signing that kind of legality over to no one bro. Check out this schweet video with me in it dude and see what a $100,000 non-exclusive deal can buy you too.

l8r -ken

Sup towelturds?

There’s nothing more satisfying than snapping some megaturds ass cheeks with a wet towel man. One time I got jumped by a pimp at the Whitehorse Elk’s Lodge. I got a beer stein smashed into the back of my head and all I could reach was the bartender’s wet towel man… Game over bitch. I snapped him in the balls and split open his sack bro, which was the shot of a marksman cuz he had a megasmallz weiner man. Check out these Youturd vidz dude.

Here is a girl towel tard snapping contest man. I was involved in a towel snapping contest between Heather Locklear and a Whitehorse, YT lady of the night once… Total bonage…

l8r -ken

Sup wrestling fan turds?

There’s this dude I know named Cory Kastle and just so the ladies know, he’s a total stud muffin, and not a turd in any way shape or form. He’s a pro wrestler that has trained at Yukon All Pro Wrestling facilities with Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik, man. One time after a wrestling event I saw him wrestle a tag team match with about four naked chicks backstage and he totally dominated, man. This guy can bench like 450 kilos and has turned down numerous WWE offers, which is good cuz WWE is full of pussbag, wannabe turdbaits, dude. Myspace is such a big fan of Cory that they made him his own webpage on the internet dude. Check it out right here, man. This dude is big time. He used to run with a few gangs, where he was the leader, but he got out of them. I also saw this guy pound 14 Taquitos one night when we were out drinking beer and doing chicks. He’s also a pretty solid hunter. We went mountain lion poaching together and he managed to bag two of them before he found himself in a three way match with a couple of Yukon beaver traps…

l8r -ken

Sup turds,

Chris Dickenson, who is a pro wrestler for the Jersey All Pro Wrestling league right now (JAPW) is someone that I go way back with. In fact, we both trained with Nikolai Volkof and the Iron Sheik in Siberia. Chris and I actually went to high school together here in Yukon. We ditched most classes and cruised around in my El Camino spinning cookies in the Taco Bell parking lot looking for chicks. C-Dawg is one tough son of a bitch, man, and I know he is not being treated right in New Jersey All Pro Wrestling. He should be the number 1 contender for the world heavyweight title, dude. He has not unleashed the “condor crusher” on anyone yet, nor has he unleashed the “Siberian sak attack.” I saw him use the SSA on one unsuspecting secret agent while we were working some shows in Thailand for the government. Let’s just say that the dude can’t have kids unless he bears them…

What a lot of people don’t realize is that Dickenson was signed to the largest contract ever in WWE Russia… which is much bigger than the crappy Canada/US training grounds version of WWE. WWE Russia has all the top wrestlers and babes. Heather Locklear was managing Dickenson for a while during the Siberian tour. We were a tag team for a while. We were called Moose Dick. Dickenson won the title, took the money and ran, like a real man. We took the cash and started our own Taco Bell franchise in Northern Yukon. Currently holding the world record for the most Arctic location for any Mexican restaurant.

On top of that, these fuckin turds Danny Demanto, Dan Maff and other shitheads keep fuckin with him man. They better look out. Chris keeps trying to fly me in to do a run-in and jump these megaturds, but I’m not interested. It’s hunting season right now and I’m collecting tree squirrel furs to create a rodent tent for camping. Kenny Omega should watch his back too, cuz he’s a megaturd, man. He has the belt right now, but Dickerson is coming for it bro.

Suck my Dickenson.

l8r -ken