Sup Nintenturds?

Well, I bet you didn’t know that if you kick major ass at Mario Kart you eventually unlock the fastest pussy magnet known to all of mankind… the El Camino bro. That’s right. Here I am ripping it up in Mario Kart tonight. I’ve already beaten the game about 11 times. I’m not sure what I had to do to unlock it. You might have to never lose, or beat the game 11 times, not sure. I also have a Mii character named Ken… that might do it. My Mii has also humped Daisy like a ton of times, so that might entitle my Mii to get a Camino dude. Either way, if you’re looking to whoop ass online though, you’ll need the Camino man. It’s more than maxed out in all attributes. The speed and handling bars went off of my TV they were so high. There’s also a new attribute “Pussy Magnestism” which was also maxed out, obviously.

Here’s a screenshot of the El Camino unlocked in Mario Kart Wii.

l8r -ken

Sup Internet Returds?

Turns out there are a bunch of lame turds on the internet trying to pretend like they are official Ken the Moose Wilkinson endorsements. Let me just go on record, bro and say that the only shit I endorse are the things that rule and that I get paid for, like Pony brand shoes, man.

I found this quiz that was written about me. I have to admit, it’s pretty good, but it’s way to easy for me, since I am the real Ken. I already knew all the answers dude. I love how the quiz is about if someone is as tough as me, man. Obviously not. how many of these fucking internet turds have slayed a yeti and survived in the Yukon wild winter time on raw bigfoot meat? Huh? Yeah, probably not many of you fartheads, dude. I’ve fucking lived it bro. Cage fought, done undercover work for and against the Soviet forces, multisport athlete… and done TONS and TONS of hot chicks. Most dudes would be lucky enough to catch a bead of Moose ball sweat, let alone be as tough as me. I’m a fucking Guitar Hero champion man, and I’ve also toured with Motley Crue dude. Kicked a lot of ass physically and mentally - at the same time dude. this quiz is an insult dude.

You are 100% as tough as Ken the Moose Wilkinson, bro

You’ve got skills man, I have to admit, but I left out the really hard questions, so you’re still a turd, man.

Are you as tough as Ken the Moose Wilkinson?
Take More Quizzes

Check it out and prepare to be humbled, turds.

l8r -ken

Check this out man… Marvel Comics has finally decided to create the ultimate superhero… Ken the Moose man. Toughest son of a bitch in the world dude. Complete with hunting cross bow and Yukon whale bone hunting machete glove. It’s about time. I don’t know much about this new hero except that he is just like me. Most of his mission involve whooping ass and doing chicks. He also has extreme grenade planting powers and the ability to hold his breath underwater like a salamander, and mind chatting powers. He’s also fluent in all forms of hand-to-hand combat and excellent with remote detonators. He can also split fuckin pubes with a blow dart, dude… while covered in a mud cloak firing through acid rain.

It fuckin rules being an icon bro.

l8r -ken