Sup non rockstars?

Axl Rose and me go way back man. I did a tour where I filled in on bass and keys in Bosnia for Guns N Roses and Axl and I had a lot of fun man. We got in tons of fights and stuff. You can see me fight with Axl in the first video. Watch for when Axl jumps into the crowd to beat that retarded fan’s ass, I stop playing bass and jump in too. We effed that guy up man. He was wearing Banana Republic khaki pants and tried threatening us with legal action dude, NO WAY MAN.

Axl also gets tons of tang man. We’ve got some tuna salad stories from the road bro. Watch this action of Axl and me beating serious mega ass man.

Axl beats a fan’s ass for being retarded

Axl VS Vince Neil - Vince is a megaturd man.

Axl gets P-O’d

This is where Axl throws out some turd for being stupid.

Watch your back turds

l8r -ken

Sup inventurds?

I came up with a new invention that I am planning on selling to idea4invention.com. They can market the idea and make billions on it. My idea is called “Fingerpons” man. It’s basically a tampon that goes over your fingers so you can please babes when they are on the menstrual… Wicked idea man. Now there’s no offseason bro. If this idea proves to be a success, I’m thinking of expanding this into a cotton condom idea called “Condompons,” so you can make sweet love during the offseason too. Let me tell you why this idea is mega. It’s basically because it solves two problems with one solution, making it really efficient technology. Babes will think, “Hey, I gotta shove a ‘pon up there anyways, why not have Ken do it, man.”

I’m a fuckin genius dude.

l8r -ken

A lot of turds have been asking me how to unlock the El Camino in Mario Kart Wii, so I decided to make an internet step-by-step tootorial.

1.) First, you’re going to have to create a Mii character and name him “ken” - if you don’t do this, you might as well not even continue reading because you’re not going to unlock the Camino.

2.) You’re going to have to win the Star Cup in 150cc four (4) times in a row.

3.) Build up your online profile to have over 7000 points and win 10 races in Dry Dry Desert.

4.) Go to your drivers license page and wave the Wiimote up - down - up - down - left - right - left - right then hit A - B - A - B. If done correctly, you will hear a guitar sound.

5.) Enter a race, select the “ken” Mii then go to the choose a kart screen. There you will see the El Camino. Get ready to destroy online.

You’re welcome, turds.

l8r -ken

Sup Nintenturds?

Well, I bet you didn’t know that if you kick major ass at Mario Kart you eventually unlock the fastest pussy magnet known to all of mankind… the El Camino bro. That’s right. Here I am ripping it up in Mario Kart tonight. I’ve already beaten the game about 11 times. I’m not sure what I had to do to unlock it. You might have to never lose, or beat the game 11 times, not sure. I also have a Mii character named Ken… that might do it. My Mii has also humped Daisy like a ton of times, so that might entitle my Mii to get a Camino dude. Either way, if you’re looking to whoop ass online though, you’ll need the Camino man. It’s more than maxed out in all attributes. The speed and handling bars went off of my TV they were so high. There’s also a new attribute “Pussy Magnestism” which was also maxed out, obviously.

Here’s a screenshot of the El Camino unlocked in Mario Kart Wii.

l8r -ken

Sup wrestling fan turds?

There’s this dude I know named Cory Kastle and just so the ladies know, he’s a total stud muffin, and not a turd in any way shape or form. He’s a pro wrestler that has trained at Yukon All Pro Wrestling facilities with Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik, man. One time after a wrestling event I saw him wrestle a tag team match with about four naked chicks backstage and he totally dominated, man. This guy can bench like 450 kilos and has turned down numerous WWE offers, which is good cuz WWE is full of pussbag, wannabe turdbaits, dude. Myspace is such a big fan of Cory that they made him his own webpage on the internet dude. Check it out right here, man. This dude is big time. He used to run with a few gangs, where he was the leader, but he got out of them. I also saw this guy pound 14 Taquitos one night when we were out drinking beer and doing chicks. He’s also a pretty solid hunter. We went mountain lion poaching together and he managed to bag two of them before he found himself in a three way match with a couple of Yukon beaver traps…

l8r -ken