Sup Giant Retards?

So I was cruising Youturd and found a crappy fucking video of some turds claiming to have found some Loch Ness ice giant in Siberia man. NOT. It’s not true man. I’m a dual citizen of Siberia and my Nana is from there man. My grandpa’s name is Kensekov Wilkinyeltson man. I’ve got Siberian blood dude, and this video is bullshit man. They film some Discovery Channel crappy TV show like Ice Truckers or the Deadliest Catch… They oughtta be filming Ken the Moose Wilkinson’s Deadliest Fart man. If they want ratings bro. Here’s a link to the crappy inturdnet video. Here’s my response… The ice giant is a giant fucking turd that I pushed out and it’s been iced over since ‘89 man. Check this shit out. PWNAGE.

Here’s the crappy video of Ice Giants

l8r -ken

Sup non rockstars?

Axl Rose and me go way back man. I did a tour where I filled in on bass and keys in Bosnia for Guns N Roses and Axl and I had a lot of fun man. We got in tons of fights and stuff. You can see me fight with Axl in the first video. Watch for when Axl jumps into the crowd to beat that retarded fan’s ass, I stop playing bass and jump in too. We effed that guy up man. He was wearing Banana Republic khaki pants and tried threatening us with legal action dude, NO WAY MAN.

Axl also gets tons of tang man. We’ve got some tuna salad stories from the road bro. Watch this action of Axl and me beating serious mega ass man.

Axl beats a fan’s ass for being retarded

Axl VS Vince Neil - Vince is a megaturd man.

Axl gets P-O’d

This is where Axl throws out some turd for being stupid.

Watch your back turds

l8r -ken

Sup Returds,

Here is one of many close encounters I have had with bigfoot yeti man. This one took place in 1986 in Yukon’s Eastern Slope while I was hunting tree squirells in the winter time. There were two of the them, male and fe-male.

l8r -ken

Sup turds,

Chris Dickenson, who is a pro wrestler for the Jersey All Pro Wrestling league right now (JAPW) is someone that I go way back with. In fact, we both trained with Nikolai Volkof and the Iron Sheik in Siberia. Chris and I actually went to high school together here in Yukon. We ditched most classes and cruised around in my El Camino spinning cookies in the Taco Bell parking lot looking for chicks. C-Dawg is one tough son of a bitch, man, and I know he is not being treated right in New Jersey All Pro Wrestling. He should be the number 1 contender for the world heavyweight title, dude. He has not unleashed the “condor crusher” on anyone yet, nor has he unleashed the “Siberian sak attack.” I saw him use the SSA on one unsuspecting secret agent while we were working some shows in Thailand for the government. Let’s just say that the dude can’t have kids unless he bears them…

What a lot of people don’t realize is that Dickenson was signed to the largest contract ever in WWE Russia… which is much bigger than the crappy Canada/US training grounds version of WWE. WWE Russia has all the top wrestlers and babes. Heather Locklear was managing Dickenson for a while during the Siberian tour. We were a tag team for a while. We were called Moose Dick. Dickenson won the title, took the money and ran, like a real man. We took the cash and started our own Taco Bell franchise in Northern Yukon. Currently holding the world record for the most Arctic location for any Mexican restaurant.

On top of that, these fuckin turds Danny Demanto, Dan Maff and other shitheads keep fuckin with him man. They better look out. Chris keeps trying to fly me in to do a run-in and jump these megaturds, but I’m not interested. It’s hunting season right now and I’m collecting tree squirrel furs to create a rodent tent for camping. Kenny Omega should watch his back too, cuz he’s a megaturd, man. He has the belt right now, but Dickerson is coming for it bro.

Suck my Dickenson.

l8r -ken